i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
