worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
