Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
