I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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