put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
