okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize