We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
