just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
