he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
