I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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