haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
