and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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