omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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