It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
