I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize