yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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