Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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