I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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