why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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