After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
