no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize