i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
