i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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