Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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