Just cropdusted the office
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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