So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
