coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
