Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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