I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
