The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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