How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
