I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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