Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
