Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
