she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
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I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.