Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.

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(845): when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me. http://tfl.nu/56i6

Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (3141)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....

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(859): just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese.... http://tfl.nu/man3

Replies (41) Good night (5061) Bad night (1055)
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(906): View more from Michigan

I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.

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(906): I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up. http://tfl.nu/m243

Replies (16) Good night (4056) Bad night (933)
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(954): View more from Florida

You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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(954): You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/e9kk

Replies (15) Good night (1063) Bad night (5870)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably

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(414): Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably http://tfl.nu/eax2

Replies (6) Good night (1605) Bad night (2398)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe

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(570): All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe http://tfl.nu/7ueb

Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (1369)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.

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(540): I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex. http://tfl.nu/djdz

Replies (5) Good night (1509) Bad night (790)
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(239): View more from Florida

Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.

(801): View more from Utah

Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.

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(239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down. (801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible. http://tfl.nu/w6b2

Replies (5) Good night (2339) Bad night (765)
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(330): View more from Ohio

It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro

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(330): It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro http://tfl.nu/tuhp

Replies (9) Good night (1689) Bad night (629)
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(348): View more from

I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say

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(348): I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say http://tfl.nu/qtqf

Replies (4) Good night (1002) Bad night (440)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.

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(918): It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before. http://tfl.nu/3ksy

Replies (6) Good night (985) Bad night (856)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY

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(314): So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY http://tfl.nu/g1zc

Replies (2) Good night (1229) Bad night (470)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?

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(919): I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent? http://tfl.nu/tgod

Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (411)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"

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(508): Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this" http://tfl.nu/ybbk

Replies (1) Good night (1223) Bad night (691)
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(205): View more from Alabama

And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school

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(205): And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school http://tfl.nu/10l1

Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (314)

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