I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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