Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I need a burrito and a hug.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
