Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.