Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

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(703): Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii. http://tfl.nu/5g9i

Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (614)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY

(614): View more from Ohio

handstands? WTF?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

she was a gymnast

(614): View more from Ohio

go to hell.

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(405): I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY (614): handstands? WTF? (405): she was a gymnast (614): go to hell. http://tfl.nu/pyfe

Replies (9) Good night (2939) Bad night (588)
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(207): View more from Maine

can u get pink eye on your cock?

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(207): can u get pink eye on your cock? http://tfl.nu/aw6r

Replies (19) Good night (667) Bad night (5547)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

only you. it could only happen to you.

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(617): so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it (1-617): only you. it could only happen to you. http://tfl.nu/wr6i

Replies (32) Good night (1155) Bad night (4556)
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(503): View more from Oregon

One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.

(503): View more from Oregon

By 8 I mean 9.

(503): View more from Oregon

And by 9 I mean 10.

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(503): One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party. (503): By 8 I mean 9. (503): And by 9 I mean 10. http://tfl.nu/vux8

Replies (62) Good night (3285) Bad night (5021)
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(718): View more from New York

He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.

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(718): He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter. http://tfl.nu/o453

Replies (16) Good night (6860) Bad night (1049)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.

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(630): Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus. http://tfl.nu/ls1i

Replies (4) Good night (1906) Bad night (1089)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.

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(717): Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection. http://tfl.nu/8fsy

Replies (7) Good night (503) Bad night (1204)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.

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(802): I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms. http://tfl.nu/3zhe

Replies (9) Good night (490) Bad night (1825)
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(425): View more from Washington

You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.

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(425): You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia. http://tfl.nu/758u

Replies (7) Good night (1709) Bad night (433)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.

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(443): Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack. http://tfl.nu/wgh7

Replies (5) Good night (1115) Bad night (412)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You and the dog were competed for the water dish

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(508): You and the dog were competed for the water dish http://tfl.nu/2x76

Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (704)
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(770): View more from Georgia

The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.

(770): View more from Georgia

I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.

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(770): The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park. (770): I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers. http://tfl.nu/217c

Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (889)
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(760): View more from California

He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.

(619): View more from California

he what???

(760): View more from California

Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.

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(760): He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came. (619): he what??? (760): Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans. http://tfl.nu/7sag

Replies (6) Good night (1981) Bad night (335)
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(847): View more from Illinois

They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs

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(847): They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs http://tfl.nu/t67m

Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (324)

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