Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
My nipple is on Facebook.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Randomize
Follow @tfln