we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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