i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
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All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.