Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
