Are we in a gay sports bar?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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