I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
