so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
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There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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