I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low