Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
