Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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