i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
