Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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