Pappa wants mamma naked
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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