my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
