I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
