I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
