I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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