Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
