I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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