I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
