After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
