Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
