What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
