no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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