My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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