You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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