I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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